Men & Women: Facing the Pain

Men & Women: Facing the Pain

A space to listen to and hold the pain we carry as men and women.

Between men and women, there is so much unspoken pain: old wounds, inequality, misunderstandings, longing, anger, grief. Most of the time we carry it alone, or we carry it at each other. This workshop instead offers a structured, held space for that pain to be spoken, heard, and held.

Rooted in Nonviolent Communication (NVC), this is not a debate and not a place to defend, convince, or unload blame. It's an invitation to slow down, feel what is true underneath the surface, and discover what becomes possible when we stop bracing against each other and start listening for the need and the vulnerability beneath our words.

Why this, and why now: the biggest gift a man can give a woman is to hold the gender-related pain she carries, even the parts he personally never caused. Not out of guilt, but out of care. In a 3-hour format, there isn't room to hold both directions with the depth they each deserve, so here we intentionally start with one: women sharing, and men practicing how to hear truly. 

Women are so often used to sharing this pain only with other women so we want to intentionally create a space where it's shared with men too. And men so often find it hard, even unfair, to listen to a woman's pain without defending. This is a chance to practice seeing the beauty and the invitation to connection hiding underneath what can sound like criticism.

What this is for men: This is not a space to come and finally be heard by women. It's a space to practice something harder: willingness to hear.

We don’t ask you to endure criticism and grit your teeth through it, instead it’s a possibility to get support in listening underneath it. To fall in love with the beautiful, vulnerable message that so often gets buried under the way pain gets expressed.

Your own hurt is not left unattended, it will be held, by other men, alongside you, so that you're free to show up fully for this kind of listening.

What this is for women: A space to speak freely and be heard and held, not managed, not fixed and not argued with. To find out what it feels like when your pain lands somewhere and is received with real presence instead of defense.

Who is this workshop for?

This workshop is for people who identify as, and were socialized as, men or women, and for the very specific pain that this binary dynamic creates between them.

Practical details

• Group: we aim for a balanced mix of men and women (as close to 50/50 as possible), please indicate when you register how you identify

• Facilitation: held by Martina Pesce (Crafting Dialogues) and Baltazar Faunbäck (The Empathy Institute)

• What's needed from you: willingness to feel and to listen without fixing

• Location & time: 24 Sep 18:00-20:30, Futura House Berlin

Is this for you?

This workshop is for anyone who has felt the ache of misunderstanding between men and women and who is ready to face that pain together, with the support of a container.

No previous experience is required.

Want to attend?

We review applications 1 by 1. Please register here.

Beyond the Gender Binary

We recognize this workshop is framed around a binary. For people who identify beyond the gender binary, we'd like to look at participation together, case by case, before the workshop. You are very welcome to join, including sitting at the junction between the men's and women's sides — we can figure out together what your participation could look like, possibly including a third, neutral space to simply listen and witness.

Trans people are warmly welcome. If you identify and were socialized as a woman, this workshop is specifically a space to share the pain you carry as a woman — not the pain you may have also carried as a trans person or as a man. We really hope you'll find space for that pain too, even if not fully within this particular container.